Conflict should not be a taboo
Repressing conflicts because they could supposedly be interpreted as inability or weakness provides fertile ground for further conflicts to build on. A never-ending story. It makes more sense to approach conflicts in a process-oriented way than to possibly fall ill from them.
Ask yourself: What does the conflict do to me? What other areas (beyond) have to do with the conflict (or the development of the conflict)? How did I deal with conflicts in the past? How am I dealing with it now? How do I prepare myself when a conflict arises?
Do you perceive conflicts as a necessary part of living together? Does a conflict bother you? Are there issues or events between you that you would like to discuss with a neutral third person?
Conflict support can be provided through mediation, in which the respective parties develop sustainable solutions themselves and in person through a process.
Are you suffering from chronic grief in your relationship? Then mediation would make sense; but it only makes sense if you both really want it.
Mediation aims to create a win-win situation between partners through a neutral third party. It is not about who is to blame, what is (subjectively) true or what is not, it is not about: 100% right and 100% wrong.
However, views should be exchanged in a future-oriented way, because you and your partner are conflict experts in your own field. The responsibility for clarifying the conflict, and in particular for finding your own solution, lies with both of you. I would like to encourage you and awaken in you the confidence to get to know the process of mediation online.
Mediation means that an impartial person, the mediator, helps you to develop constructive and concrete solution strategies. The mediator merely mediates between you in order to create a new basis for a future (more or less) togetherness.
On the basis of your personal needs and your individual ideas of justice, a win-win situation should arise because you yourselves have brought about this GOOD SOLUTION FOR ALL.
“You cannot not communicate”, says Paul Watzlawick (translated from: https://www.paulwatzlawick.de/axiome.html). Communication always has to do with a counterpart, i.e. with a person with whom or which we are in relationship (whether we want to or not).
Use mediation to address the conflict with the other party in a solution-oriented way, as conflict is a necessary part of living together.
Learn to allow positive communication with the conflict partner under the guidance of neutral mediators.
You will dialogue objectively and calmly, because you are both interested in viable solutions that will later be adhered to by all participants on the basis of binding agreements. In this way, you will also practice accepting contradictions.
With mediation, a conflict resolution without defeat, but with concrete agreements, is sought and realized because you work out the solution yourself. After each mediation session you will receive a short protocol: a written agreement drawn up by all sides, as a mutually beneficial contract which represents the goal.
Demarcation: Law – Mediation – Therapy
If you have time and money and want to submit to a later legal decision, you aim for a legal dispute (lawsuit, evidence, etc. within the framework of procedural law).
Anyone who prefers future-oriented and sustainable solutions to conflicts, or at least wants to give them a try, uses the mediation process. Mediation also promotes a constructive conflict culture in socio-political terms.
In the first meeting it is clarified whether the respective personal responsibility (autonomy) is pronounced enough to be able to start a mediation at all. A power imbalance between the conflict parties that cannot be balanced would be problematic for the process. Both parties should be psychologically/physically stable.
Mediation procedures do not replace legal advice, which is reserved for lawyers. Mediation helps the parties involved to reach an agreement on a procedural level.
Are you already thinking about a legal dispute? In mediation, you can develop solutions that a judge might never have thought of in a court case.
My role for your conflict management, for negotiation and decision-making processes is:
- To create a safe space for you,
- To be a neutral, empathic discussion guide for you during the process of mediation,
- To creatively facilitate you in finding agreements, in common problems,
- Establish confidentiality
- Online mediation available via Zoom
The aim is that you feel better with the solution you have found for yourself than if you had not done the mediation.
More about the process and costs, you find here