WHERE do I come from?
Have you ever asked your parents how you were born? What was your mother’s pregnancy like with you in her womb? “From the moment of conception, the body memory of the unborn child stores prenatal experiences. In addition to positive feelings of security and connection, feelings of tension, powerlessness and hopelessness can also arise in this very first living space. Disturbing influences or traumatizing events often leave deep traces. The prenatal period of life can therefore become the basis for a successful life or the beginning of psychological destruction” (translated from:Alberti, B., Die Seele fühlt von Anfang an, 2005, book cover).
It could be Insightful to find out details about your prenatal time that are helpful to you now as a (future) father or you can intensify or clarify the relationship with your mother or father? Use the time when your parents are still here on earth. Clear or clarified relationships are the be-all and end-all in life, but: “What is to work on the heart must come from the heart” (translated from:https://gutezitate.com/zitat/255669).
Have you not only been mothered but also “fathered”?
Do you remember your relationship with your father? Did he introduce you to the world of men, whether sporting or crafts or nature-related? Did you rough play with him, jump off cliffs (and he caught you) and / or try fair sport challenges? What adventures did you have with your father? Did he offer you orientation, friction as a male reference, even if he was not perfect and also had his problems?
Were you not only “mothered” but also “fathered” as a child? Did your father put you to bed at night and read to you and prepare your sandwich for school in the morning? Was your father able to inspire you with masculine values and encourage you out of the safety and security of your mother? When you become a father yourself: What is your view of the world of men? Has anything changed since the phase from little boy to man? Do you have access to the world of men, also and especially through your father?
Were you neglected or even physically attacked as a little boy? Did you grow up without positive, encouraging (also physical) attention from your father? Did your father constantly criticize you, abandon you or was he often absent? Did you experience a destructive withdrawal of love? Coming to rest makes you feel emotions of inner abandonment, resignation and distress?
Do you have buddies with whom you can exchange ideas about this? Are you yourself in a men’s group that likes to spend time in nature, undertake inner healing journeys around the campfire or attach importance to comprehensive individual healing and development? Or would “forest bathing”, nature experiences or nature therapy be something for you?
This is certainly not the right place to write about it, but perhaps you would like to join me in looking for counseling services. Feel free to write to me.